The Etiquette of Acknowledgement

Cards and Folders

As part of our Service and for your convenience, we furnish Acknowledgment Cards. We would appreciate you informing us as to the number you will require. We will also supply the Pallbearers Cards, Musician and Minster Card if needed.

It is appropriate to send these cards within a week to two weeks from the time of the service, in thanks for Flowers, Masses, Spiritual Bouquets and other acts of kindness.

No longer are personal letters expected in return for expressions of sympathy. In most cases a signed acknowledgment folder is sufficient to say AThanks@ for flowers and other acts of kindness.

If a more personal touch is desired a few words can be written on the acknowledgment folder with reference to flowers, letters of condolence or to the services that were rendered. These words make the recipient feel that one=s thanks are as personal as if they had been expressed verbally.

We hope the following suggestions will prove helpful in handling the various expressions of sympathy the family receives during bereavement.

The notes below in italics are only suggested copy.  They may be changed to fit your situation.

Clergy: Send a personal note of thanks for their spiritual help. If an honorarium or offering is sent, it should be sent separately form the note to the clergyman.

*Dear Mr. Smith: (or Dear Father Smith or Dear Dr. Smith)

My husband and I thank you for the consolation you gave us during the this trying time. The beauty of the services you conducted will help us tremendously.

Dear Rabbi Wise:

Thank you for your comforting words and inspiring thoughts. You have helped us through a very difficult time.

* But NOT Dear Reverend or Dear Rev. Smith.

Pallbearers: (Including Honorary but not professional or paid bearers). Include a message of thanks for their time and services on an acknowledgment.

Thank you for your kindness in acting as a bearer for Father. We asked you because you were one of his closest friends.

Letters and Telegrams: Replies may be short and written on an acknowledgment card. If the deceased were a prominent person or political official, the regular card without a note will suffice.

Thank you for your kind words of sympathy... it is so nice to have friends like you.

Sympathy cards received by the family do not usually require a response.

Flowers: A personal message may be written on the acknowledgment card.

The roses you sent for Dad were beautiful.

Flowers received from an organization: Send an acknowledgment to the leader of the group and include in the message reference to the other members.

The flowers sent by the members of the East Side Gun Club were beautiful and greatly appreciated.

If member=s names appear on the floral card, an acknowledgment (without personal message) is sent to each name on the card.

Flowers received from an unorganized group: When a group of neighbors, employees, etc..., send flowers, an acknowledgment to each name on the card is sufficient.

Friends who volunteer cars and personal services: A personal note on an acknowledgment is correct.

Car: Thank you, Bob, for the use of your car. It was needed and greatly appreciated.

Service: You were so kind to stay with Mother after the funeral and helpher through that first evening alone.

Food: The apple pie you sent to the house was delicious; thanks again for your thoughtfulness. 

It is not deemed necessary to acknowledge calls made by friends at the home or funeral home, as usually some member of the family has seen these persons.

In the case of a family with married daughters, the cars are generally signed with the Family name or the name of the deceased, if the head of the family.

For close friends and neighbors who have helped perform personal services, it is felt that no card is necessary as generally they are so close to the bereaved family, they are usually thanked in person.

For additional information please feel free to contact us at any time.